Love of a liftetime

This is an Old poem i wrote a really long time back,yeah back then i was lonely.Not anymore:)

A Love of a lifetime

she said she wanted to go for a walk
and that she would be back soon
how was i suppossed to know that she would never return

i searched the whole city,couldn't find a breath of her
dissappeared with out a trace
stood,sat and slept at the door
expecting her to come back
but nothing came

a few days later i hear she is a million miles away
and that she never wanted to see me,
or hear me
and even take a look at me

maybe she found someone better,maybe she found her life empty
maybe i wasn't enough
maybe i was rude to her and didn't give her space

alcoholism and drugs seemed to be my relief for a while
when it didn't work,more alcohol and drugs followed
soon i realised that these couldn't heal the pain

tried to satisfy my emptiness with other girls
but each and every time,every face became her face
i couldn't let go,

days and nights passed with no notice
some times,the days and nights couldn't be seperated
they longer didn't matter to me,
my only shining light disappeared forever
there was darkness where once a light shone

my thoughts were flooded with those days
where we would stare at each other's eyes and could see things we could never explain
days where we could talk for hours and never be bored
the days when i would walk with her,talk with her,go out with her
walking through the pathways,holding hands
somedays we would hike on the hills
and share those moments together

oh,times have passed
and still everday i can feel her embrace
20 yrs could have passed since that faithfull day,but it seems like only yesterday
by chance,for the 1st time in 2 decades i saw her
and she looked at me and i looked at her
and i could see no ring on her finger
and there was no ring on my finger

I looked at her and asked her one word "why?"
and she starred at me and said
"i couldn't accept that i loved you
i couldn't and so that's why i walked away
and i could never love anybody else"

shocked and dazed,i walked away

She......